The impulsive actions like running away to see something cool, climbing onto the garage roof to see what is happening in the back alley, bouncing, fidgeting, running all the time, difficulty sitting through a meal, minute attention span, sensitivity to foods, his smarts & bright little personality, sourcing help, respite careworkers who keep leaving the country, parenting strategies, the ability for B & I to stay calm & patient, etc etc????
Are these the biggest challenges ADHD provides to W and us?
No.
Nope. Not....even... close!
It's other people.
Their perceptions. Their judgements. Their inability to be open minded and fair and accepting of people with differences.
Who are these people?
They are everywhere....not every
one but every
where....they are strangers...
and sadly they are "friends".
Difference and adversity always brings out the true friends in one's circle. Unfortunately, we have learned this lesson throughout this journey we are on. Friends are those that we expect to be more understanding and accepting, but that's not always the case. Even worse is that sometimes these friends have the inability to speak openly with my favorite husband or me, yet find it necessary to share their judgments among others.
Have you ever heard a person state, "We're not in high school anymore"....meaning we should be beyond certain behaviors such as gossipping and judging others...feeling important by putting others down. Well, such is not the case. This is another lesson I have learned in my lifetime...some people bring their teen personality into adulthood.
This is when the mother-bear syndrome comes out of me. Protect thy child! Against all odds. That is one of my purposes as a mother and in this I will succeed.
Sometimes, the initial judging from others can be eased with a bit of humor though...recently we were in a group of people, some of whom we know really well and others not so much, when a dispute between the boys took place. Bup hurt W's feelings by taking a toy away and W protested loudly....uh, with an earsplitting scream and sob to be exact.
The whole place went silent. Pin dropping silent.
To which I responded with, "Talk amongst yourselves. It's just a parenting moment!"
There was another moment of silence, then laughter and the hum of conversation continued.
Whew! Yay!
It saddens me that it's people's comments, hurtful words and judgements that are the most difficult aspect of having a family member coping with ADHD. When will the world ever change?
If you have a friend who's child has a disability, check your thoughts.
If you're ever out and see a parenting struggling with an upset or hyper child, check your actions & thoughts. Is your first thought..."That mother needs to get control of her child?"
"That mother needs to watch her child closer." "That child needs discipline." "That child is aggressive." Check your thoughts.
Maybe... just maybe... there is something more going on with that inept mother or difficult child.
Maybe that loving parent & sweet child would reap the benefit of a kind smile or kind word from you. Maybe you would too. Because after all....we can all learn from each other.
There! There's my rant for the day. It's been floating in my mind for a month or so now...time for release. As well, let's just throw a cliche in for good measure ( cause I have a lovely cyber friend who "loves" cliches...) People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. That lovely friend south & east of here, gave me the courage to speak up...from the heart...from the sadness & frustration...thank you my friend!
morning at Fish Creek Provincial Park. Who can resist a "big explore" with these three cuties?! The highlight was throwing bones (aka driftwood) into the river. Kids and water....they could spend the day throwing rocks or wood into the river/lake/ocean. We're going to miss that once summer melts away. Let's not go there yet! Treasure our warm end to summer and the Indian Summer to come.
morning at Fish Creek Provincial Park. Who can resist a "big explore" with these three cuties?! The highlight was throwing bones (aka driftwood) into the river. Kids and water....they could spend the day throwing rocks or wood into the river/lake/ocean. We're going to miss that once summer melts away. Let's not go there yet! Treasure our warm end to summer and the Indian Summer to come.
