The Breakup

Dear Ron,
You need to know that we are done.
We are through!
Ca put.
Finito.
O-V-E-R.
I am so tired of you and can't believe it's taken me this long to come to this. You have been flirting and tempting me since I was 12 yrs old. 12 for goodness sakes! Sad to say, that it was once known (when I was 16yrs) that the quickest way to my heart was through you. I even had an interested suitor bring me a surprise from you as a token of affection. It worked as I ended up dating that boy....for a while anyway and then my good sense took over. Why has it stayed away so long, when it comes to you?
You lure me with your promises of "special" and the sweet & savory that is the core of your characteristic. But then it's blatantly obvious that you are taking advantage of me as I always pay on our dates! You never foot the bill!! Imagine the things I can treat myself to by saving $15 per week....which is what I had been spending on you. At least a new pair of shoes by the end of the month....maybe a manicure...or one hour with a personal trainer which I now need.
By the way, you're a bit of a pervert too. Focusing too much attention and dwelling on my derriere! Ack! How could you!?
You know that I'm married with children and yet you still tempt me. One of your most incorrigible moments is tempting my small children with the promise of toys; useless, plastic toys that clutter up my car as well as offering a place to play...slides, tree houses, airplanes, etc.
And now you're available 24 hrs?! Well, who cares! Not me. You will not see the likes of my gracing your establishments ever let alone in the middle of the night. I will be home with my husband. Oh, and believe me, he is well aware of the affair and more than willing to forgive me, without counselling even.
This may have been our theme song in the past. It's a new day though, and I have chose this ditty as the new theme song.
So, take your smiling face, red curly hair, free smiles and go away.
I am done.
Forever.
Amen!
M