Relationship SOS

Do you ever get the feeling that you and your husband/significant other/life partner are a little disconboobulated? (Technical term) That children, and household stuff and sickies and work and stuff is kind of getting in the way? What do you do about it? Besides slapping him/her on the back with a "Hi Roommate! How are you enjoying our business partnership, houskeeping etc relationship?". There are a few books on my shelf that I could read, such as Men are from Mars...., Love Languages, Covenant Marriage and Children Change a Marriage, but the SECRET is to not buy the book, stroke it's lovely, sleek, jacket and then place it lovingly back on the closet shelf out of sight. Trust me that is not the secret to making the Secret work (another book on the shelf).Now, I realize this is such a normal part of marriage and parenting, but I don't want it to become "the norm". So, please do tell (even if it's an Anonymous comment, what do you do to stay afloat and not feel like two colleagues or roommates passing in the hall while on to the next meeting/class?