Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Red, White & Blue

This is not a post about the USA or flags.

This is about anger and the amazing aptitude of our 4yr old son.

As you all may know we have been working with W on anger to appropriately express anger and understanding it. Let's face it. We all get angry and that's okay. It's what we do with it though. Slamming our bedroom door repeatedly until your mother takes it off the hinges...well not so ok.

Last week, we....meaning the OT, SNA, and us parents...introduced a new take on anger. Red, White and Blue anger.

Red meaning physical anger...door slamming, yelling & screaming with no words, throwing toys, etc.

White is internal, ignored anger.

Blue is using your words with no physical outburst.

We explained this to W using a Social Story. One time. My FH read this Social Story to W one time.

I knew it was making an impact when on our way home from gymnastics on Thursday W asked me "What is white anger?"

Then, on Friday at preschool, W had an AHA moment...a teaching moment. His little buddy at school was having a tantrum during circle time. W turned to him and said, "L that's Red need to have Blue Anger. Blue Anger is when...." and explained to L and the whole class what the three types of anger are, in detail. Apparently, little L calmed right down and listened to W while the rest of the class became silent and tuned in as well. The teachers were pleasantly shocked and asked W to repeat the Red, White & Blue anger theory. Which W complied, not quite knowing the impact he was having on the class, but happy to share.

Can you say THRILLED?!!! Oh! My mouth dropped to the ground and my heart just sang when Mrs. J and Miss C told me this upon picking up W from school. Hallelujah!!

There is hope! There are results! We are on to something here. Something amazing! I don't recall the last time W had a slamming door tantrum. It's been a couple of weeks. Which is no small feat because they were happening several times a day. He's just a much happier little guy. And we are thrilled. Thrilled!!

I think it's a combination of the therapies and the Naturopath. I think the naturopathic remedies have given him the clarity and peace to learn.

Regardless, Friday's Red, White & Blue explanation in class earned W a trip to Toys R Us with $5 in hand to pick out one special something. He earned it!

So there's a happy story for you. Isn't it wonderful to hear something happy once in a while.


  1. Yayyy W!! That deserves 5$ for sure! Great to hear some good news regarding Red, White, and Blue considering I just finished watching the hockey game and those particular colors are less then thrilling at this moment! Keep up the good work!

  2. Wow, that is great news! I love the theory about the kinds of anger... I've never heard that before. Glad to hear things are going well!

  3. I am soooo teary eyed right now. Yay for W. Very proud! Go mister! Show those teachers what you got! Doesn't hurt when. Mom and dad see too especially with 5 whole dollars in hand. Jackpot!


  4. It is so great to know when your hard work and perserverance as a parent pays off. I know you guys are on the right track. Good Job W!

  5. I feel like lately I need W to explain the different kinds of anger to me. =) Anytime I'm feeling 'upset', if I hear that voice in my head say 'hello redneck' I know I'm in trouble. LOL! Way to go W! I'd say it's the awesome parenting that's making him such a little man. =)

  6. We are dealing with the same thing with Cole right now. Not so much door slamming, but heart slamming with really unkind words as soon as he becomes angry. I have been making him hold his tonque (literally) when he says something rude until he vcan think of something nice to say. It has not been as effective as I had hoped. I am going to try the red white blue story and see how that works. By the way your story made my heart jump and brought a tear to my eye. I can only imagine how great it made you feel! Christel

  7. Just read that a hiatus is in order for you. Things do go south once in a while but that just means we are growing, loving, hating crying, and hugging. And after I read this post, I think to myself........this is why you post Miss! This is why you post....

    Hang on, the frays on your rope are long and strong.