The Mental Housewife

Mental Mayhem....and I mean me.
Have you ever had those days....or weeks? Where you do things that you normally wouldn't do...or think thoughts that should never cross your mind? You don't? Oh, how I envy you!
My poor husband. Not quite sure how he puts up with the madness that is me...cause it's rampant lately. Here....I'll tell you all about it.
So......
my birthday came and went. The week before my birthday I advised B that I wanted a date for my birthday present. A date. All planned by him including childcare. Wuhoo! I was looking forward to our date night!
Then a few days later...and some guilt over my erratic behavior... I tell my hubby in a voicemail that I don't want a date...I would rather not have a birthday at all.
Husband thinks....okay, crazy wife, check!
Then the day arrives.

No one says happy birthday to me in the morning.

The children are clueless. Cause they're kids...3 & 4 yrs remember?

And I decide that this birthday is kinda blah, so lets do something fun. Off the kiddos and I go to the Guzoo and have a fabulous day! They were so happy, loving and good listeners....despite an incident or two in the car in which I stopped the car, gave them both the stink-eye, my angry voice, and threatened to go home. Maybe the stink-eye worked so well because I kept my sunglasses on?
Anyway....the mental madness continues.
At home the little kiddos are in bed and asleep early (6pm!) cause they are whooped after a long day of travelling and being outside feeding goats, sitting on donkeys and such. As I come up the stairs from Man's World, I'm feeling a little blue cause I've hardly spoke to my hubby all day and there has been no birthday wishes.
As I get to the top of the stairs, there he is with this large, bright, happy bouquet of flowers with the sweetest little card that makes me tear up.
Mental. Me.

Proceed a day.

Family camping trip planned and pending for weeks, months even. I don't want to go. Bup has a cold. Runny nose. Weepy eye. Commenting about wiggly-hand again. I don't want to go. Plus, camping is stressful for me....all the packing, prep, organizing with two little boys in tow.

It's a family event. Our little family and friends with their families.

Over the phone....again....I suggest to my hubby that he and W go while Bup and I stay behind. Silence.

"We can talk about it more when you get home" I offer.

Pause.

Hubby gets home and automatically consents to me staying home, in the mean time I have phoned a friend who encourages me to go by commenting on how it's family time and means something to my hubby.

Okay! I might just go...with a happy heart even...and just keep a super close eye on Bup, making sure he gets to bed on time and has naps and the like.

Clothes packed, food organized, prep work done....I'm going cause I'm feeling guilty and feel like I do nothing for my family and it's all about me.

By evening, I've changed my mind. Kids are driving me bonkers while driving in the car, after getting on my nerves while trying to use a public washroom at our favorite meat store. My patience is gone. Well, let's be honest here....did I even have any?

On the way home from the super hot dog store, the boys are bugging each other as all kids do, Bup is crying...which happens A LOT...and I lose it. Turn the radio up so super loud that I can't hear them and now they are both really crying because it's scary and hurts their ears and what the heck is their mother doing!!!

(Who does these things? Really? What other-mother tortures her kids with the radio...kids who have sensitive ears and are sensitive to sound??? W told me he was going to get Gram to kill my ears with the big vacuum. So there! He was thinking about how to get even....poor little mugger.)

Not going camping...again. Bup and I are staying home where his runny nose and weepy eye and night coughing can be done at home. Annnnnndddd....

where my mental behavior can remain hid from the outside world. Except here I am blogging about it....at 445am...while Hubby and W are off camping & Bup is quietly sleeping.

There's no pleasing me, is there?

A friend, laughed and told me that yesterday.

She's right.

But who can please those that are in the eye of their own mental mayhem storm? It's up to me...and well, that's just downright scary.