Why did it chose my child?
It's so...not...fair!
I feel for him. The struggles he will have within society, school, etc. Being accepted for who he is. Seen as himself, not just the ADHD label. It's already there....these struggles.
Yesterday was W's pre-school Christmas concert. Which I had to miss as needed to be at the hospital with Bup. Thankfully Favorite Husband took the day to spend with W, who was thrilled! Back to the concert....our little boy was the only one who could not sit still, was hitting the pom pom on the child in front of him, would not shake his bells, and had to leave the group to sit in the audience....where the challenges continued.
How does this make me feel? Mad at W for these behaviors?
Nope.
Sad. Sad that he has to go through this. Sad that parents would have been judging him. Hopeful that the teachers were not as the KNOW. Sad that he wasn't able to participate like his peers.
At bedtime W & I often have "pillow talk". It's lovely. He opens up. So last night I asked what happened at the concert....why wasn't he able to sit through his songs....too many people there? Too excited?
"Too much noise Mommy."
Ahhhh....the sensory issues come into play too. Double whammy. I wish I had thought about that and prepared him for it. An additional aspect effecting W was food. He wouldn't eat his lunch so would have been fairly hungry....blood sugars crashing...and that equals increased fidgets, inability to listen, etc.
So, what's the point of all my rambling and explaining??? Venting. That I FEEL for our son. That sometimes I HATE ADHD (sometimes I see it as a gift because W is such a special little guy, but other times I hate what it does to him). That we have some big decisions to make surrounding school.
Here Kindergarten registration starts at the beginning of January. January 4th for some private schools. January 11th for all the public schools. Where do we choose for W? Public? He'll get lost in the system. Everywhere else requires driving. I need to think of Bup's lifestyle too and future education as it would be lovely to have them in the same school. It would be lovely to have them schooled in our community....to be a part of our neighborhood. Is that the best choice though, support-wise? Private = driving, time, and expenses. I am stumped, stumped, stumped....sort of. In my heart I believe that the public regular school is not the way to go....so now where do we choose? Where do we go? Besides the pretend compound I would like to live on and our homeschool classroom!
So, there. There it is. My vent and heartache for the day. Thank goodness for this outlet or who knows what I would be doing...probably searching the cupboards for a bottle of rum, I mean vanilla!
One of the hardest things as a parent it to see other people who judge our kids.
ReplyDeleteAnd one of the best things is knowing how special they are no matter what others see.
You are doing a great job at helping others to 'see' more. To see better.
Don't get too discouraged!
I have less than zero time at the moment but have to leave a quickie blurb before I lose my train of thought.
ReplyDeleteWhen picking a school for JT whom we thought had PDD, or did have PDD and outgrew it, or was just having massive speech delays...or maybe just didn't want to communicate etc we met with reps from the catholic school board, as well as public as well as private. It's free BUT time consuming. Both school boards offer cluster classes in various schools where the student/teacher ratio is quite lower and there's different levels as to how much they are integrated with the typical kids. Whatever "typical" means, I still haven't figured that out yet...
In any case, in my head and in my heart I feel like you will hear of the right situation for your son and you will just know it. It will feel right on so many levels.
(We also had great ideas from fscd on different criteria that could/should have been a deciding factor.)