Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Grant Me the Patience....

....to deal with my blessings.

This may be shocking to all you mothers out there. Or those of you who are not. So, if you're of the "Pathological Liars Club"...the rose colored glasses, my life is perfect club, the just discipline your kids, spanking works people.....well, get your cursor to the address bar and move on. Cause until you have truly walked a week in my shoes, there is no room for judgement here.

If you're not....keep reading.

There are moments, sometimes even days, that I really dislike mothering. Hate it in fact.
Why? Ultimately because I feel I'm not good at it.
Those moments....when my child(ren) are yelling at me, kicking me, not listening, running away, not listening...I HATE it. Oh, it makes me so mad.

I hate not being able to bring about peace. I hate not being able to get through to my sons and have them listen and obey. I hate being mad. I hate feeling mad. I hate the thoughts that run through my head and the look that is on my face. I hate being ineffective. I hate hurting their feelings. I hate being angry.

In those moments I would rather be anywhere than in the heat of that moment and in that angry space.

Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever want to escape a moment?
How do you avoid the anger?

Maybe I need a support group....a dealing with our blessings group.

These kiddos are my blessings. I love them with my whole heart. Loving them doesn't mean parenting is easy. It's not. Not for me anyway. The frustration and anger I would trade in a heartbeat. My children? Not for anything would I trade them in. Not even if the Gypsy's knocked on my door right now.


  1. Hey look, I wrote your blog for you today.....but, guess what I am noticing, it does seem better, if only minutely, as they get older, there are less issues. They still don't listen, but then I tell them their dinner is cold because they were not listening when I first called them. But mine, I might add, was absolutely delicious all hot and yummy, and it was very quiet all by myself sitting at the table. Very nice indeed! I was really trying not to let it get me angry and it worked!


  2. It's sooo hard Mrs. M.
    Some days more than others. I hate the feeling of frustration that wants to burst out my guts like an alien.

    And I think you are exactly right. We love our kids through and through, but why is it still so difficult when we only want peaceful, happy homes??
    I keep telling myself that my attitude can make it or break it, but I haven't got that mastered yet either.

    Don't be discouraged. Don't feel alone. Don't be too hard on yourself.
    I think this topic may require an in-person conversation!

    talk to you soon.hugs.

  3. I have sooooo walked that road many many times my dahhhling!

    It gets easier as they get older, why I'm not sure. Maybe it's because they have finally caught on to the pattern that undesirable behavious isn't rewarded with movie dates, visits to the bookstores or playdates with friends. If they don't behave under ordinary circumstances I'm certainly not taking them to anything extraordinary. Maybe that's not a good system but it works for the kids. When they behave well while grocery shopping, there's a much better chance they'll get a treat...eventually they seem to have caught on. Although it's not always a monetary thing. Sometimes it's just staying up an extra 10 minutes or making cookies.

    Some moms make it look sooooo easy. I think they must be closet drinkers or something...

  4. Thanks my sistas!
    It is just soooo hard and I feel like an evil witch all. the. time.
    @Lesley....closet drinkers!Ha! I would like to be an open drinker...I think!;)

  5. Oh my Knob Sister, you are preaching to the choir! I have no words of wisdom as there are many days that I am filled with a huge sense of regret over things I said or did to the boys in the heat of the moment....I do know though, that I feel slightly better when I own up to them on what Mommy did wrong and we discuss what we could have done differently...comes back to that honesty is the best policy apporach I guess...I agree that it does get slightly easier when they get a little older, and I hope that continues to improve....we are all just flying by the seat of our pants and hoping for the best....always know that you are not alone.....

  6. I too think that "perfect" Mommies have got to be on something! It so isn't as easy at they make it look.

    Just know you're not alone in the frustrations of motherhood - we all have days when we wish we could have said or done something differently or just had a "normal" day.

    You should pack up the kids and come out to visit someday - the boys would love to play with them.

    Have a good day,


  7. Hey you, I had lots of time to think today, about you, about us, about days back when---while doing the Terry Fox Run. Started out running with my youngest, but this old mother didn't have the endurance to keep up. I know for certain that the two hardest jobs in this world are the 2 that don't seem to come with any training--marriage and parenting. I have to admit that this afternoon as I was getting ready for one of my jewelery open houses, you know rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off. I was wishing so much in my head that I had a daughter, along with my houseful of testosterone--you know those people that can look around and see what needs to be done without being told. I lost my cool, was yelling at the kids, and felt so guilty during/after--while they are looking at me like, "Who is this alien and what did you do with my Mom?" Well this is my thoughts on this--my boys are going to learn that females need extra attention at times, can frequently be moody--and no it is not for no reason--it is usually because we are reacting to what someone else (usually those with testosterone) have done.
    Yes siree--parenting is a tough battle. I think it is about going in the bathroom, having your cry when you need to and then getting back up to face the world.
    I know one of the most hated things for me is seeing the traits in my children that I so dislike in myself or my spouse.
    Well, we both know how important it is to count are blessings, but we ARE human. And lets face it. Life can be pretty challenging. Personally I think we need to have a support group too--do you think that part of the code of conduct to get in is to beable to drink as much as us? Love you lots, Take Care

  8. Awwww....you girlies, mommas, bring tears to my eyes and a sigh to my heart.
    It's incredible to know that we all share similar feelings at times. This business of parenting is definitely hard however having good friends who relate and support one another make it a tad easier...at least it opens my eyes.
    Thank you all for sharing.
    You warm my heart!