Back Ache

My back is a mess. Has been for years now. Which is wild to believe when I really think about it, but it is years, since W was born. Maybe it was the back labor? Maybe it was the two epidurals? Who knows....

It's been getting considerably worse this year. More flare ups. More severe. Quite debilitating. Even a trip to Urgent Care for some lovely Toradol once.

Maybe it's because I'm a 100lbs overweight? Core strength? Ha!

Well, this Friday I am finally going for xrays and then making a plan.Rather than just hit and miss massage or chiro or the very rare physio. In the mean time, I purchased a lovely, cushy body pillow to sleep with, between my knees, 'cause that's supposed to help one's back. To which my husband said about the body pillow,

"What's with putting the Berlin Wall back up?"

Spooks

Do you believe?

In spirits that visit?

A presence?

Ghosts?

Spooks?

Nope, Halloween is not on my mind. Well, that's not true it is....thanks to a certain friend and her Halloween issue of Living....but not for this post.

When I was a child and an unexpected noise in the house would take place, like doors creaking or things falling off the counter or table unexpectedly, my parents would always say, "Spooks in the house." I thought nothing of it. It was just a saying.

But now.....

I think more of it.

And I believe.

There are often unexplained...well anything can be explained if you really want to....happenings at our house. Little things.

Such as while I was writing an email just prior to this post. At the moment our home is quiet. The boys are having their Saturday afternoon naps, my favorite husband has sweetly gone off to "the bread store" where we buy bread in bulk...sliced bread. I am sitting in the beautiful quiet, sending off an email or two when what do I hear....

"Three little friends went out to see just how big the world could be, looking high and looking low, round and round the world they go, with lots of animals big and small" This song playing loudly from Man's World. My first thought is, "J...is that you? It must be J." I go to the steps and there sits the Leapfrog globe, now quiet, not singing any longer. Nothing was touching it. The boys are asleep.

These things happen quite often here. Lights are turned on and off. Toys are turned on and off. Decorative displays are knocked off the fireplace mantel. Even the TV has gone on and off.

I'm sure the scientific side of all of us could explain these. But I don't think that's right. Some times the timing is just too coincidental. Like when I was writing Christmas cards to my brother's old friends....and everything was knocked off the mantle. Like when I was yelling at the boys....and the lights went out and a toy came on.

Which makes me think..."Okay, okay, I get it. You're here. Stop goofing around and help me then."

Crazy....maybe? All hyped up over Halloween. Nope, this is year round. Read to much Sylvia Browne? Maybe...

So, there ya have it. Spooks are in the howse!

And now...what about you? Do you believe?

Grant Me the Patience....

....to deal with my blessings.

This may be shocking to all you mothers out there. Or those of you who are not. So, if you're of the "Pathological Liars Club"...the rose colored glasses, my life is perfect club, the just discipline your kids, spanking works people.....well, get your cursor to the address bar and move on. Cause until you have truly walked a week in my shoes, there is no room for judgement here.

If you're not....keep reading.

There are moments, sometimes even days, that I really dislike mothering. Hate it in fact.

Why? Ultimately because I feel I'm not good at it.

Those moments....when my child(ren) are yelling at me, kicking me, not listening, running away, not listening...I HATE it. Oh, it makes me so mad.

I hate not being able to bring about peace. I hate not being able to get through to my sons and have them listen and obey. I hate being mad. I hate feeling mad. I hate the thoughts that run through my head and the look that is on my face. I hate being ineffective. I hate hurting their feelings. I hate being angry.

In those moments I would rather be anywhere than in the heat of that moment and in that angry space.

Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever want to escape a moment?

How do you avoid the anger?

Maybe I need a support group....a dealing with our blessings group.

These kiddos are my blessings. I love them with my whole heart. Loving them doesn't mean parenting is easy. It's not. Not for me anyway. The frustration and anger I would trade in a heartbeat. My children? Not for anything would I trade them in. Not even if the Gypsy's knocked on my door right now.

I Want A Cat

In a previous life I had the best cat. The most loviest, purring, sweetest, toothless cat.

*sigh* But I traded him in for a husband. Seriously.:)

Tonight while perusing inter-blogging friends' blogs, what do I see but a little grey mouse climb into our fireplace!!!!! The little jerk. He keeps peeking out at me.

I wish I had a cat!!

So, as every strong woman would do, I put on my black and pink rain boots, marched out to the garage and told my sweet husband that there are mice in our house.

He's on his way to purchase traps. It's 10pm here.

I wish Petland was open.

I want a cat!

Mouse-Mission Update

This morning two of the little rodents have been caught.

Hot damn & hallelujah!

Poor W though....he sat at the deck doors, staring out the window at the trap talking to the mouse. Not THAT morbid everyone! It's one of those trap them alive traps, with a glass window on the top which is why W could see the little rodent in there....enjoying his new condo. Gah! It's my favorite husband's job to "set him free".

The one caught in the fire place? That happened before W & I started our day and thankfully it was not a humane trap. The peeping mouser....fixed his little red wagon.

Hopefully, his buddies got the message and have not moved in.

Proud Grandkids

These little critters love their grandparents. On both sides of the family.

They were lucky to have Gram Oh Doe and Gramps visit last weekend and then Grama G here for the whole week.

Firsts

With children there are always firsts.

First full night of sleep.

First steps.

Firsts, firsts....and now, the first day of kindergarten and preschool.

The boys are enjoying their first week of school. Of course, it's not without it's trials.

Both boys are so tired! Wuhoo! I love that they are in bed early and sleeping a good 12-13 hrs until 7am!!! Hallelujah.

Bup is learning how to listen to someone other than his parents. He's loving the play kitchen, all other stations and really....snack time!

W who loves to learn, thrives on it, is adjusting well. He is in a small class, 4 & 4. We walk to school. He gets on well with his new SNA and is winning hearts in the classroom.

There were no tears on anyone's part. Just smiles, and being called back so that I could beg for a kiss!

Pretending...a Rant

I hate pretending.

I used to hate confrontation....and still do....but pretending is worse.

Pretending that feelings aren't there....that everything is alright...that everyone likes each other....that I'm a happy calm parent....that, that, that....I could go on and on and on.

How does it benefit anyone in the long run? Stuffing feelings, emotions, ideas inside. They all come eventually in one way or another. Some come out in the size of my butt! Emotional eating.

Maybe a distant attitude. Smile, nod, say hi and walk the other way. Gaggghhh!

So, I'm not doing it anymore. About anything.

Might make me a little punchy, even more b*#$!@! in some people's opinions. Oh well. I guess I've just jumped on the honesty train.

Who knows how this will affect this blog. Maybe it won't. Maybe there'll be less posts...more....???

On the realism approach, what do you NOT pretend about? What are you real about, that maybe others in your life are not?

Reward

Missing

Little Boy's Blue prescription eyeglasses.

Perfect condition.

Finger prints on lenses can be wiped off with appropriate cloth.

Last seen??? Possibly in" the laundry room. In the pants."

Missing one week now.

Reward is a Big Date. Will include ice cream & play at McDonald's.

Addendum:

Glasses found. Buried in the sand box.

Found by Gram Oh Doe & Bup.

Big Date enjoyed by Gram, Bup and Me.

Magic, rainy camping

Ah, the last long weekend of summer. Often, signals the end of season. The end of camping and on to new Autumnal adventures.

This camp out was the FIRST

time we have camped just as our little family, with no friends or family joining us. It was FANTASTIC!! I love camping with friends. However, to spend three full days with each other on a happy, slow paced, outdoor adventure was beautiful.

First there was the sunshine which brought magic.

Richard Young the Magician to be exact.

W and I took in the show while R slept at the trailer with

Daddio. The sun shone while W and I sat in our comfy chairs and laughed, oo'ed and aahh'ed with the other guests. Mr. Magician was truly magical. W was thrilled to be a magician's helped. I was the proud mom in the crowd snapping pictures like crazy and just shocked that my W sat through the whole show, with some wiggling on my lap, a little cut on his finger that needed a bandaid...from a pop can...keep your finger out!....and then there was the chance to pet Archie the Duck (dove). How cute is W standing there, waiting to pet the dove, holding his finger out for Archie to perch on?!

rain.

Bup he enjoyed the chokecherry bushes that were beside our trailer.After one lovely day of sunshine, the magic turned to

It rained and rained for 24 hrs. We enjoyed the quiet, the naps and the walk in our rain gear. Exploring the campground, following the river, throwing rocks into it, and finding treasure. An old pin/button is Bup's found "treasure".

We all enjoyed each other.

VBS Baobob Blast

The Baobob Blast Vacation Bible School in August was a mixed blessing for our boys.

W loved it! Not only did he have fun, but a little buddy was in his class too. W learned to play musical chairs, play an instrument, and learned about "Joseph and his brothers dipped his coat in blood." Talk about capturing a boy's attention...Bible Stories! Some of them are pretty violent, gory, and action packed when you get right down to it and this appeals to most little boys. Good guys vs. the Bad Guys. David and Goliath, etc.

Traditionally the end of session program is a hard one for W. To stay focussed with the group, and stay with the class is hard and sometimes impossible. This was the exception!!! W participated in the recital/program at the end of the week. I am still so so SO PROUD of him!

Bup. Well, it was a learning experience for R. There were a lot of tears. Every morning when I left he cried, but it got better as the week went on. Especially because big brother W was there to help. As I would go the two of them would be side by side on the pew, with W holding R's hand while R struggled to keep his tears in check. Poor fella. He learned that Mom always, always comes back. "But I sad Mom."

He's a crier, this one.

On a good note, he loved showing off the crafts he made and beating his little coffee can drum.

A definite do-again next summer!

Birthday Shirt

Our friends' little cutie turned 1 yr recently.

The sweater I knit didn't quite turn out how I wanted so I put this little T together. His father loves to fish so the "I'm a Keeper" theme is perfect for father & son.

No credit can be taken for sewing the shirt as I purchased it and then embellished it with the fishy & saying. For extra adhesiveness, I used an iron on for the back of the fish fabric and then machine stitched around it. The words and bubbles were added with a fabric pen.

Super easy and kinda cute!

Fancy

As I write this my hair is uncombed, sticking out like a short version of Medusa with the back of her head flat. I am wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. The boys are outside playing with giant bubbles and the breakfast dishes are sitting beside me on the table.

"Mom I want you to be fancy.

Wear a fancy dress,

make up,

jewellery,

maybe a fancy hat,

and fancy underwear.

Bahaha....oh! You don't have fancy underwear!"

"I love it when you're beautiful Mom and wear fancy things." Says my W as he strokes my cheek and looks into my eyes while almost nose to nose.

"Do you know Fancy Nancy? You can look like her."

Ahhhh....my little boy wants me to be beautiful. It's too cute and too funny and too sweet. His sweetness and requests make me want to put on a circle skirt, big belt, fitted shirt, bright red lipstick and wear a bow in my hair. Vintage Housewife-ish. {image courtesy of The Vintage Housewife}

He warms my heart.

Do you think he'll notice that I'm nowhere near Fancy this morning? More farmer. Ungroomed farmer. Definitely not Mink and Manure farmer.

I''ll leave you with that....Mink and Manure.