Well, time passes and heals all things.
Heals? Not really.
Changes? Yes.
Today is the 18th yr anniversary of when you, J.A. left us, left this earth and went somewhere good...I hope...no, not hope... trust.
You were much too young at 25yrs to take that journey. It was so wrong at the time and especially the way in which it took place will forever be wrong. However, if there is any good from that tragic night it is that we are all safe; our family and other families... safe and really, this is due to your sacrifice.
Oh, but I was angry at times. Angry at you, the situation, the individual who made this happen and of course, the unfairness of it all. This anger has dissipated...for the most part...and only time could have that effect.
Much has happened in the 18 yrs since we last saw one another. Some of which is better left unsaid...growing pains! Yet, there are other events that I wish & hope you have witnessed in some way, shape or form. Such as all the nieces & nephews that would have enjoyed knowing you, including my own two little sons. But maybe you do "know" them? Maybe you see them? Maybe you protect them and in some way teach them to be creators, builders like you & your carpentry skills? If there are guardian angels, may you be an angel to my boys.
Today has been a mixed bag of emotion for me. As the day progresses into evening I find myself a little blue, a little edgy, and realize it is because I am thinking of you, what was, what happened and what might have been. So, in order to ease the edginess, I am writing to you to release a feeling or two and put it out there to the Universe that today, I thought of you. In good ways too. Your wacky sense of humor, charm, cocky confidence, your silent protectiveness of a little sister mixed with the probability of a willingness to trade that little sister for a case of beer!:) And many more thoughts.
You are remembered.
Always,
Always,
MLG-H
I thought of you and JA also today my friend....must be our kindred spirits that allows me to know when you are needing to know how special you are....JA would be so proud of you and all that life has brought you...how you handle everything with such courage and dignity...I think a little piece of JA lives on in your boys...especially those mischievous
ReplyDeletegrins and little pranks....that is how I remember JA...scaring the pants off a group of 13 year old and always teasing....I send big hugs your way today my kindred spirit and may the good memories over shadow the rest.....
on the 10th was the anniversary on my brother's death... 16 years ago. That our children don't get to have those uncles is one of the worst parts.
ReplyDeleteYou can make me cry buckets and laugh in the same letter. He sounds like a great guy, too sad he was taken so early. I truly believe in angels watching over us.
ReplyDeleteIt's still such a tragic story.
ReplyDeleteYour boys are going to love hearing Uncle J stories!
YOu are a very loyal and brave sister.
*big hugs*